My Life Can't Be This Normal
by IllyasvielEmiya
Summary: A Rewrite attempt to make Kousaka Kyousuke Gery Stu. A perfect man with a sense of duty to protect his sister although it always backfired.


My name is Kousaka Kyousuke, A seventeen year old student. Although you may find it boring, I am perfectly average high school boy. For example, I am not in any clubs and have no special hobbies either. My grade is perfectly average and although it strange to say, I am not handsome either.

In short, there are no girl chasing after me and I will not dealing with supernatural entities.

See, my life is perfectly ordinary and I am enjoying it while it last. Looking at my little sister who was very busy with Study, Sport and Modeling, I would say I am satisfied with my life.

Unlike me, my little sister, Kousaka Kirino, is what you will call school idol. She is a beauty and well endowed in the right place. She is also star in the running field and mastering Karate, too. She is smart and always get perfect score and many boys –and strangely, girls too- fall for her.

Her minus point is only she is bad at singing. Whenever she start singing, Run!

I am not being generous just because she is my little sister. Kousaka Kirino is what you will call a goddess. A girl that so perfect it feel like she is out of reach and standing in different world. Do you know how bad it is when your families are standing in the different place than you?

Since Kirino's kidnapping, she distanced herself from me and doing her best to make her schedule always busy. Not that I am protest too much. Her accomplishment is what making my life miserable when my family sat on the dinner table and talking about what we were doing.

"I am back!" I said while opening the door.

As usual, no one greeted back. Even Kirino who sinks deep into sofa and crosses her mini skirt-covered legs doesn't react to my presents. She was laughing at her mobile phone, looking pleased.

"Oh? You're kidding! What the heck? Haha! What an idiot."

"Yeah, yeah. I was an idiot for trying to talk to you."

I headed towards Kitchen and grabbing a pack of barley tea in refrigerator and pouring it into cup and drank it. Sometimes I do worry about her, but since she doesn't acknowledge my existence, I am usually just pretend to ignoring her.

"Yeah, all right. I'll get changed and head out." Distantly, I heard my little sister said.

I still determined to protect her, though. My greatest regret is that I failed to protect her when she got kidnapped. But with how Kirino react towards me, slowly I am starting to give up and finally get into this situation where we don't acknowledge each other existence.

Though, occasionally…

"Ah!"

Something likes this happen. Just after going down the stairs, I ran into my sister who was in her regular clothes.

*Thud* we collide with my left shoulder hitting Kirino's breast. The force wasn't that strong, but it was enough for her bag to leave her hand and spill its contents onto the floor.

"Ah!"

"Oh sorry."

I make a frank apology and reach out to pick up the stuff scattered on the floor, like cosmetics, but…

*Whap* Kirino, sensing that, brushed my hand away with a slap.

"Wha-?"

I open my eyes wide and was surprised by her sharp look.

This is what comes out of my sister's mouth,

"Just leave it. Don't touch anything."

While saying that, she gathers the spilled contents of her bag on her own. I make a small sigh and then stand, leaving her who looking at me without expression. I am headed towards second floor and listening a murmurs "...I'm going," as if she is fulfilling some sick duty, then closes the door with a slam.

After make sure that she already gone, I am walking towards front door. As I thought, she forgot to pick one of her things. It was in the corner of the entrance hall, on the backside of the shoe closet. Maybe she was in rush so she doesn't pick this up. The thing she dropped and forgotten was something thin and white…a DVD case.

When I checked the inside, I hurriedly closed it again and rushing towards my room.

Why you ask?

The cover was a normal anime cover. The anime –Titled Stardust Witch Meruru- itself is okay, although I am puzzled why Kirino have a 'Limited First Edition' who usually bought by a hardcore otaku, this is definitely normal anime. Not too pervert and aired in children slot.

What make me puzzled was what inside. If my mother or Father found this, I will definitely get disowned or worse…Arrested for pervert behavior. Instead a DVD of Stardust Witch Meruru, what was inside is different DVD titled 'Let's make love with your sister!' complete with 'R-18' notice.

An evil plan automatically formed in my head. This is blackmail material. But then, I will be the worst brother for blackmailing his own sister. I do want to get revenge, but maybe I am not too willing to make her suffer. Despite her attitude towards me, she is still my sister after all.

So, instead I am stored it in secret drawers inside my CPU and then tried to forgot this matter while working on a script I owed to Ruri and Riko-San.

* * *

By the time the script was done, it was already 06.45 PM. After read it once more and satisfied with the result, I sent it to Ruri via E-mail. It was her task to proofread it before she and Riko-San draw it into manga.

Come to think of it, It already curfew time so maybe Kirino already back. I make a sigh and the problem from this evening come back to me. When I got downstairs, I found Kirino searching for something in entrance hall.

Not too hard to guess what she search for.

Since she seems to hate me, it's better to off not getting close to her. Although I would deal with her sooner or later. The suspicious Eroge disk inside my CPU will get me in trouble if I am not give it back to her.

Dad already gets home too. As a police, it was rare occasions for him to get home this early –and it clearly will make my burden heavier. As usual, he dresses in traditional Japanese clothes after bathing. He has this superior atmosphere around that made him look like Yakuza. His scary face does help if He investigating something in that dark side –and often do. But when he got home, he tried to suppress that atmosphere and smiled –if you can call that 'smile'.

Mom then called for dinned and we quickly gathered on the dinner table. A delicious Miso Soup and curry. Unlike Dad, Mom is a gentle soul. Kirino and I may argued in many things and ignoring each other, but we agreed on one thing, Mom is one hell of woman when she can clearly married to scary man like dad.

Fortunately, we have yet to see what Mom capable of.

Like my life, our dinner table was ordinary.

Well, Today is not ordinary. I can see Kirino suspecting me for her lost DVD case. Like Dad, she has sharp mind for finding thing. So without a doubt, she already is suspecting me.

"Hey I'm going to the convenience store after dinner," I said, "Is there anything you want me to get while I'm there?"

Mom was one who responded first, "Oh, then get me the new Häagen Dazs thing. The limited seasonal edition thing," and then she smiled –a smile that makes my spine cold.

"Okay," I am answered.

When the dinner finished, I am rushed to my room, retrieving the DVD, my wallet and my cell phone. After that I am leaving the house with the DVD safely tucked under my shirt. I am stopped for a second in the front gate.

I pulled out my cell phone and then called Ruri. Ruri was girl a year younger than me. She was introduced by Aria-San and become Tooyama Family member since then. In a way, she was like my little sister than Kirino, though I wouldn't say it in either face.

"Good night, Senpai," Ruri's voice greeted.

"I have a few troubles here, can you…?"

"Do you always ask me when you have a trouble with your sister?" Ruri cut off my sentence, "Ah, well, since you are shameless and oblivious man like Kinji-Nii, I will grant you permission to asking my opinion regarding my problem."

She was, as usual, mocking me while gladly helped me. I make a sigh and then tell her my problem.

"Then, shouldn't you catch her when she is still in your room?" Ruri said, "It's a simple matter and yet you asked me. I am starting to get tired with this. Maybe I should send you an Eroge Riko-Nee played as a prank. I am sure your sister will kill you right there."

"No need to be rude," I said, "I know what to do about that. But I am worried if she will ask me my opinion regarding Otaku…"

"Which is only your marketing target and worthless scum," again, Ruri cut off, "Say, Senpai, do you ever once condemn me for being Otaku? Or Riko-Nee?"

"Well, you are different," I am answered.

"How so?"

"I know you as a kind people first, so I can't see you the same as Otaku," that one was truth, "Beside, Tohyama Family has helped me with a lot of things. How can I condemn you! I know you as my family before Otaku!"

"That's your answer," Ruri answered.

Ah, how am I forgotten!

"But she is playing R-18 material!" I subjected.

"Just caught her already!" Ruri shouted and then closed the phone.

I make a sigh and then looking at my room where the lamp has been turned on. Truth to be told, I am not especially keen with Otaku. I am making a script for Rico-San manga's and she always told me that Otaku is just self-obsessed person with too many time and money. A perfect target for a creative person like us to make money. Maybe I am just too worried that my sister will become another worthless Otaku that Kinji-San like to beaten so much.

Walking back towards my room via backyards and then climbed a ladder that set towards my room –I am usually use it to escape at night when Kinji-San called me for urgent matter. Opening my window, I caught Kirino opening my cupboard.

"Are you searching for this?" I asked while take out her beloved DVD from under my shirt.

Like I said, Kirino is a perfect girl. She has anything most girls didn't have in one packet. It's like she was created specially to be a marrie sue. But then, Real Life Marry Sue didn't have flaw. Apparently, she doesn't want anyone to know her flaw since if it known, everything she has will be ruined.

"So this is yours after all," I said.

That's why she denied it.

"Of course not,"

For modern Japan Society, Otaku is in the lowest of social status. Forget your beauty, smart brain or prestige. If you are Otaku, you are doomed. Live with another worthless scum and couldn't interact with another 'People'.

"Oh, so this isn't yours?" I asked again, "Well, I picked it up this evening in the entrance hall. Since you broke to my room, I figured you were searching for this."

"That's definitely not… It's not mine. W-Why would I watch such a… childish… anime? No way I would… right?"

Looks like she won't ever admit it. This is going to take forever.

"So, Why are you broke into my room?" I asked.

Of course, that was only what Society in general think. You can't lump every Otaku into worthless scum –like what Ruri kindly told me before. Kirino is my sister before she is Otaku.

"Here," I carelessly shove the DVD case to my sister's breast. Kirino still keeps her expression of hatred and looks up at me, "If it not yours, would you kindly throw this out?" I asked, "You are Dad's favorite daughter after all. If you caught with that you can blame me and he will believe you right away."

Then, I walked towards window and looking back one more time.

"And you should leave no trace before I am back from convenience store," I added, "After all, no culprit will leave without securing evidence," and then I jumped out of window.

After put the Ice cream mom asked in refrigerator, I headed towards my room –as tidy as before and no evidence it has been wrecked by my 'beloved' sister- and sat down in my chair and looking at my cell phone.

* * *

One message.

Sorry, I lied. I am not normal person after all.

It's true that there are no girl chasing after me and I will not dealing with supernatural entities. But I have my share of abnormality. The message is brief, written in Butei Code by Tohyama Family.

An order of deployment.

After retrieving my Baretta92F, several magazine and tactical knife I stored in secret drawer inside my CPU, I am opening my cupboard and changed into Butei Uniform –Who somehow also bulletproof. After checking that I have securing the secret drawer, I jump out of window and run out towards meeting point

It's hard to describe my second family. Tohyama Family is an owner of several corporations –one of them being Manga Publisher where Riko-san, Ruri and I work- and also a pioneer in Secret Security in Japan who formed Butei. Although in surface, Tohyama Family is a family with amazingly rich and high influence on government, they were also a pioneer of Japan secret security agent.

Originally, Butei is a secret organization of child military formed by Interpol. They usually recruited a victim of crime organization such as kidnapping and human trafficking as well as war child. Japan Branch was assimilated with Tohyama Family.

My recruitment is a bit…special.

The meeting point is a manga shop owned by Riko-san. After knocking in code –which usually created from Anime opening and changed once a week- In the left side of the shop. Riko-san opened the door with smile. The main artist of our manga is a woman with blonde hair tied in twin tail. Although she looked young, she is a master of disguise and can easily hide her age.

"You late, Kyou-chan!" She said, "Ruri-chan gets here first."

"Well, She is live here," I retorted.

Riko-san only giggled while I am entering the building. She led me towards second floor where my team has gathered. The first one was wearing a gothic-styled Butei uniform, Gokou Ruri. She is adopted by Riko-san and seems influenced by her hobby in gothic style as well as dark anime. I am still hoping she is not fujoshi. Ruri have a long straight black hair neatly cut at the forehead, giving her an Ojou-sama feel. Unlike super-excited Riko-san, Ruri is like a ghost and she snipe like one.

Still maintaining her barett M82 sniper rifle, she asked "So, how your little sister?"

I am still wondering why she called me 'senpai', though. She is mysterious that way.

"I give back her eroge, but I didn't think it will resolve the problem," I said, "Honestly, I think I just invite more trouble."

"You see your sister as a problem?" from another corner of the room, Kouhei said, "You should be grateful that your sister is approaching you!"

"After what she had done lately?" I smirked, "I will mostly just get revenge."

The second member of team is Kouhei, the resident of pervert and siscon. After one year in orphanage, he is adopted and gets a little sister a year younger. He is also my classmate and a genius dual wielding every weapon he can get his hand on and bomb-maker. He also has a weird fascination towards flamethrower. His pyromaniac tendency make Kinji-san forbade him to wielding one.

Kouhei then strapping several Glock 17 under his blazer and said, "You should love your sister, not get a revenge on her!"

"Senpai, Siscon is contagious," Ruri commented off-handedly.

"Don't worry, I have immune towards that," I replied.

"Don't ignore me, Damn it!" Kouhei said in desperation.

Me, Ruri and Kouhei is a team in direct order of Riko-san who usually only gathered information. So, our task today is only infiltrating a crime syndicate back dealing in a hotel and placing several spying device.

The gun was mostly for safety measure.

After a short briefing by Riko-san, we climbed to the top floor and entered a small weird voiceless helicopter. It colored as black as night with a dimmed light on front side. Including our usual weapon, it can carry four people easily. I don't know how it created or how it works. I called it 'Phantom' while Riko and Ruri agreed to call it 'Moe-Copter' (Don't ask me how it can be 'moe' considering it has a pair of machine gun in its side).

After dropping Ruri in sniping point and greeted Reki-san, the Moe-heli sent me and Kouhei into the top of hotel. Infiltrating the hotel is easy matter. Kouhei still guarding my back when we creped trough corridor silently.

And carefully, we began our mission.

* * *

The side effect of doing spying job silently is that your sense and awareness is doubled. You can hear a sound so soft you usually didn't and you notice a small things that normally you ignored. This is useful for playing hide and seeks with a man who shot without prior confirmation. But currently I am in my own home and I am too tired. I just want to sleep in my bad until dad dragged me down.

So, even I notice, probably I ignore the hints.

When I climbed towards my room and opened the door, I found my little sister just entering my room and look shocked at my presence. I cursed my luck and tried to find a pretext as for why I am just entering my own room in the middle of night via windows.

"Is that Scarlet Bullet's 'Butei Uniform'?" She asked.

I didn't see that one coming.


End file.
